Blinging up Babies.

So this morning, I sat down with my cup of tea and my two girls to catch up on last nights TV. First up was Channel 5's latest controversial offering, the aptly titled "Blinging up Babies". 

Now I always try, as a Mum myself, to hold in any judgement i feel over other Mums techniques, I keep it all in and smile and accept that, everyone raises their children differently and there is no set "right way" to do so. So this morning I aimed to be judgement free, I really did, but it got pretty tough within the first few minutes because there is just so much wrong with the mindset of "Blinging up Babies".

Firstly i should probably preface this by saying, i find child beauty pageants incredibly creepy, dressing children up like mini adults, having them parade around and pose and then judging them on who is the most beautiful, its creepy, it should be illegal, it makes my brain hurt. But that's a post for another day.

I'm the first to admit i was incredibly naive when i was pregnant with my first daughter, i brought everything pink, i envisioned this little pink princess, i was a heavily pregnant woman possessed. Everything was soft shades of pink, the bedding, the walls, every item of clothing, but when Evelyn arrived and started to, pretty quickly, make her strong personality known i realized i had been wrong, its not up to me to force an identity on my kids, its up to my kids to find their identity and for me to completely support that, stand behind it and fight for it on their behalf.

My awesome three year old, owning her own identity.

I still like seeing both of my girls in a nice dress but i never force it on them, the fact is my three year old will run around in a princess dress, with a knights helmet on being a superhero and i love that. Its awesome, shes awesome and i stand behind her choice 100%. Shes picked up stuff aimed at boys, t shirts and toys and i get it because her gender shouldn't mean she has to conform. I'll give it to one mum from Blinging up Babies, she was preparing herself for the day her daughter might not want to a princess anymore, but even so, the fact is, these babies and toddlers and children were wearing fake tan, wholly inappropriate clothes, hair pieces, heavy gold jewelry and prancing around on stage like Rihanna. I can't stand behind that at all.

It is one thing for you and your children to want to be princesses, but its another to tan your child to get there. 

Because the first mum that's what she was doing, mum and daughter spray tans. I can't fathom the logic behind it and i don't want to and when she said "oh that's bringing you back to life that is" i wanted to throw my remote through the TV because what happened to empowering your children with your words? Why would anyone ever feel its okay to use fake tan and makeup to make your children "more beautiful". What kind of body image and self worth is that going to lead to?

I want to see the follow up in ten years when these girls have no confidence because they were never taught to appreciate more than whats on the outside. 

So yeah, fake tan, one layer of a cake i found pretty disturbing. Next up, massive gold jewelry, i can get behind the odd little bangle and i try to refrain from ear piercing debates, but i'll put it this way, not my body, not my decision, when my girls are old enough they can decide. But thick, gold chains, hoops, bracelets, i can't get behind that because i just think whats the point? What a waste of money. What a waste of time. 

Next tier, makeup. Disclaimer on this part would be that yeah, sometimes my girls will raid my handbag and emerge looking like the joker and yes, sometimes, when Evelyn asks, i'll literally spot a dab of lipstick on her face and ten minutes later its smudged and once again she looks like the joker but, Blinging up Babies involved mothers applying mascara, talking about drawing oh eyebrows and blusher and i had to hold in expletives because its one thing to let your kid play with an old lipstick its entirely another for a young girl to be wearing a full face of makeup that she can apply herself with ease. 

Now last nights show had a HUGE focus on child pageants and the children competing in them and as I've said its really not my cup of tea anyway, but, when Mum#2s daughter, pranced on stage, thrusting her crotch, dressed up like a Hooters girl i just wanted to cry, even the other Mums at the pageant of creepy thought it had crossed the border into totally insane. I want to think the best and hope the Mum didn't know what Hooters was but then she showed the picture she styled the costume on and i lost all faith in her. So did her daughter because at one point she refused to go on stage and parade around and Mum was not very impressed. Even third place wasn't enough to impress Mum. Even first place struggled to raise a smile. So who exactly is she doing these pageants for? The kids? I'm not convinced because she admitted, her youngest daughter, would probably be a tomboy if she was allowed to choose her own identity.

That's what makes me sad, i raise my children the way i do in the hope that they will always feel comfortable in their own beautiful skins, that they can be exactly who they want, that their gender shouldn't define them and neither should the standards set by a sometimes unforgiving society and i will always fight for that. If i had a son and he wanted to wear a tutu i would fight for that because kids need to be kids. They need to feel free and i would be horrified if i allowed my children's self worth be affected by the way they look.

Yeah i did absolutely feel sorry for Mum#1 when she admitted that shes been abused in the street and on the internet and attacked because she dresses her daughter the way she does and if you are reading Mum#1 you don't deserve that, not at all. But i think you need to scale back a little on the toddler glamour and enjoy watching your kids just be kids, yes they may love dressing up like Princesses, that's wonderful, get those tutus on, but scale back on the fake tan and the makeup and hair pieces (they pull out my hair, think about the damage they can cause to kiddie hair).

I should probably admit that midway through the show Evelyn asked my to paint her nails and then Ivy joined in and now they have the nails of a drunk manicurist because toddlers don't understand how to let the nails dry before they go off and pretend to gallop on a horse. I painted their nails. because they asked me too and they just like the colors, they don't care about the level of perfection put into the painting and ten minutes later they were wearing helmets and fighting with sticks in the garden and i admit, i felt like i could breath easy again because they might like a bit of nail varnish but they are still very much the masters of their own identity. One that is still untouched by an obsession with vanity.

I'm sure the bosses of Channel 5 are rubbing their hands together and ordering a full series of the show keen to exploit even more people for the sake of cash. Well done Channel 5, bravo, you are giving Channel 4 i real run for their "King of Controversy" crown.

As a special mention i'd like to add Katie Hopkins, always first with her own special brand of venom who apparently, isn't against picking on children despite complaining about the amount of abuse she herself receives. I want to slap myself for putting her in since i recently pledged to ignore her vile existence but, yeah, the tweet speaks for itself really.

Hag of the year

Bravo Katie, you absolute bitch. Please accept some more scathing insults from me, you deserve them. Princess, Precious, you are beautiful girls (especially without the makeup)!