2 under 2

2 under 2?

If you have or are expecting a baby that will throw you head first into the 2 under 2 club, this entry is for you. If you are expecting your second bundle of joy, I’m sure you are at times locked into a panic about how to cope with 2 children who can't use the toilet and have limited vocabulary and the rest of the time you probably tell yourself it can't ever be as bad as you imagine.

1. You will probably contemplate divorce.
   When you first met your other half, his snoring was something you chuckled about, it was a cute little habit that you giggled about. A few years down the line and its the number one cause of midnight violence in the bedroom. Add a baby to the mix? Its grounds for divorce and time to start mentally dividing your belongings.
   I'm joking, of course, but 2 under 2 does put a strain on your relationship, creates brand new and unimagined rows and puts both of your flaws into the spotlight every time you have a disagreement because, you are tired. Its important to remember, you love each other and the only other person in the world who truly understands how you feel, is your other half because, they are living it too.
2. Everyone you have ever met will have a pearl of wisdom.
   And they are mostly full of shit. Since the 90's began, every know-it-all in the world has hopped on a pedestal and judged the parenting of every one else and it all comes down to one thing, they think they could do a better job. They couldn't. Ignore them and ignore the ridiculous advice, tips and tricks that are thrown your way. Cast off remarks of blame “Oh your baby doesn't sleep? Your fault” and above all, never, ever read anything by Tracey Hogg.
3. Find a support system and keep it.
   Everyone needs someone to lean on. When you have children, you need a few. Find yourself people who will help you, support you and bring you wine. For me, some of those people are members of a forum. They laugh with me and at me. Cry with me. Give me advice when I ask and support even when I don't. Then they're those in my actual life, who give me a few hours peace when I need it, who run me out for emergency milk purchases and who never judge when I use the age old technique to quieten a toddler.. chocolate.
4. Toddler Problems.
   “I bet your little one will love having a brother/sister”. For the most part, they will, but be prepared for tantrums, destruction, bottle stealing, jealously and attempts to sit on your brand new baby. Toddlers are amazing, hilarious and incredibly perceptive, praise their good behaviour like they've won a nobel prize, ignore the bad and remember, there is no toddler problem chocolate and a cuddle can't solve.
5. You are a hero, believe me.
   
   Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, whether you have 1 or 10 but remember, you are human, you aren't a machine, sometimes you will make mistakes, you will sit and cry, your house won't always be spotless, the laundry will sometimes spiral out of control, the dog will start to think you have lost your mind, for a time most of your daytime conversation will be with two children who have little to say back except “poo” and trying to make a baby sleep is most times, a losing battle. I picked up this mantra from my forum girls and I repeat it to myself when the darkness looks like it will never end, “this too shall pass”. Because it will, they aren't babies/toddlers forever, eventually they sleep when they need to, eat without throwing, answer you back with coherent words and then you will look back and wish it hadn't passed by so fast. So enjoy every moment you can, don't be too hard on yourself and remember that no matter how badly you think you are doing, your children still love you. & the next time you are out and about and you see a woman with a screaming baby surrounded by a sea of ignorant tutters. Give her a smile. You know exactly how she feels.