My Grandad.

I wrote this the day we lost my Grandad, after saying Goodnight for the last time yesterday, i think i'm ready to share it. 

The word seems far less bright tonight and tomorrow doesn't hold any possibilities.

This morning a star, our star, who had emblazoned his love and wisdom across so many lives, took his last breath and burned out.

My Granddad, head of the family, a man of endless knowledge, a storyteller, a crafter. A man who could build anything, fix everything. Solve every problem and be an unwavering pillar of strength no matter the storm he faced.

He’s left behind what feels like a deep, endless, ocean of grief. Its impossible to imagine a life without him, from now on there will always be a vast space that he should fill.

Last night we gathered by his hospital bed, holding his fragile hands, stroking his head, with a little laughter and plenty of tears. Together we willed him on to keep on fighting.

And he did, for that last night, he held on, though he had little speech he still managed to communicate a little, looking at us all in turn.

Mostly he looked at my Nanny, my beautiful brave Nanny. His best friend, wife and constant support.

When I was younger my Granddad was a toy builder, a teacher of the silliest things who had us watching black and white movies and listening to old songs.

As I grew he was an advisor, a support. A teller of stories and a debater of football and history.

An unbreakable spirit, a constant humour, always a air of cheekiness. His disdain always erred on the side of amusement and his will was always strong.

I hope this morning, as once again we gathered as a family, this time no longer a whole, that he saw us. That he saw the love in the room you could almost touch, that he saw the endless tears and the tender kisses. The grief that overwhelmed us.

To the outside world my Granddad was probably very much an ordinary man, but to us he was a diamond, rare and adored. A person like him doesn't come along very often and the loss is too much to contemplate.

He will always be the head of the family, the voice of reason in our minds, the strength and courage we can draw upon and a man we are proud to of called our own.

Granddad, you are so loved.